Professionals working with victim-survivors

To encourage victim-survivors to disclose their experiences you can:

• display posters and leaflets about domestic abuse, particularly in communal areas
• use a private space away from partners, family members and, where possible, children
• ask questions as a matter of routine enquiry
• ask sensitively but with direct questioning
• be clear about your safeguarding responsibilities and limits to confidentiality
• repeat or rephrase questions to help understanding
• gain trust by listening and validating

The nature of abuse is secretive. It is able to continue if we feel we cannot talk about it or that it in some way causes shame. Despite abuse never being the fault of the victim, they often feel responsible for their experience. This is because the abuser may say their victim's behaviour causes them to act in that way.

By asking the question, we give victims permission to talk about their experience. We make it more likely that victims will open up and disclose what it happening to them. It can be an essential starting point to the conversation.

Asking may not lead to immediate disclosure, but a person may feel comfortable enough to open up to you later if you have made them feel valued and supported.

For adults

You could phrase your question:

"As domestic abuse is so common, we now ask everyone who comes to our service if they experience this. This is because it affects people's safety, health and wellbeing. We want to ensure we are supporting people and keeping them as safe as possible."

You can also ask direct questions, such as whether anyone close to them has:

• made them feel frightened
• bullied them
• controlled them
• forced them into things
• hurt them physically, for example:
• hitting
• pushing
• slapping
• choking
• threatened them
• threatened their property
• made them feel isolated from friends and family

In your conversation, refer to the power and control wheel and equality wheel. Download them from the Duluth Model website. Remember that some victims do not realise that the behaviour they are experiencing is abusive.

For adults with additional care and needs

Direct questions you can ask include whether anyone has:

• prevented them from getting:
• food
• clothes
• medication
• glasses
• hearing aids
• medical care
• prevented them from being with people they want to be with
• tried to get them to sign papers against their will
• made them feel ashamed or threatened
• taken money belonging to them

For children

You should only question children if it is part of your role. You must also have been trained to do so.